I Forgot

Career changes are underway. I have been in turmoil about it all but now after several weeks I have remembered the following very important things. Things I've always known but forgotten.
1) Don't spend time and energy on things that are not important to you. Understand what is of value to you in your pursuit of human maturity; do not react and make choices based on ego. Use your that energy and time to find new paths. I know my new path. Don't be afraid. It's that moment on the high dive, walking out on the board, peering over the edge.
2) Don't let others control you. Don't let their need to control extend to you. Move beyond it, over it, around it, ignore it, but don't incorporate it into yourself. If you do, they have indeed taken control.
3) Live backwards...think about the choice available at this moment and what you will feel like if you don't choose it; will you regret not doing it ? If yes, take that road less traveled and begin the journey.
4) I knew at 45 that if I did not take my leave to go sailing with my partner I would never do it. I did it and so happy I did. Now I am 55, I know if I don't make a new life, contributing my best self to a new life career, I won't and I will regret it.
I affirm all these things to be true.

August is August

I spent a few days in Maine last week where August is large and lush this year. This morning, back in Florida, I was doing my trimming of roses, trees, bushes, vines and it struck me that August is August, at least, in Maine and Florida and I suspect all along the east coast. Growth has reached its height and even now plants and insects are carefully planning for the winter, production of seeds and pods that will lay dormant all winter waiting for a new season.

Summer Nights

It was a silver shimmer of a summer night
the east wind scattered clouds from the sea
you brought me the world
I brought you all time
my age ages
my love stays young
who I am to judge
the passing of the years.

Stopping by Woods....

This morning the woods around my house are "lovely, dark and deep" but not because of snow; so much rain and heat, it's a tropical tangle of vines, new trees, shoots, mushrooms, wild flowers and grasses all home to bunnies, toads, lizards, a mama boar and I think a couple of little ones from the snorts about. Bobby and I tread carefully, coming out wet from the morning rain. He gives a good shake as we reach the porch, smiling but still doggy wet. I go back to my coffee and book. Nice day.

No More Answers

I've grown tired of answers
Give me only questions
Questions that awake me
Questions asked without opinion
Questions voiced for no other reason than to ask
Pre-supposing no answers.
Let's just keep asking questions
Without making up our own answers
Do you have faith to do that ?
Can you learn to live without answers?
And still know the joy of life ?
I submit the joy of life lies only in our questions
Answers are nothing but distractions from the Truth.

Soul Mates

Today, the first day of Spring, is for the soul.
Winter is blown away by a southern breeze.
Small buds take a chance once again, for about the 5th time this season.
You are in your shop curving maple and cedar into fluid shapes.
I am in the garden smiling at the young shoots;
My life's resiliency again.
I will soon switch to the kitchen where wine is opened,
Steaks marinated, mushrooms lightly brushed,
Collard greens turned into the oil and garlic,
Friends will arrive, the music queued....
And the rhythm of New Life takes root !

Shadow Lives

What would it be like to live with totally new constructs,
To hold a bird's eye view of life for perspective
To unwrap our opinions and habits and see them for what they are
To shed our winter skins and assume a new home
With a new system of perception and analytics
That frees us to ask a new set of questions
A new set of questions that will provide different answers

I'll start pondering one of these...Einstein's construct of space & time - that it is curved, not straight as in past present and future...most of us experience time as single threaded but how cool to live life in a curved dimension. I am intrigued by this because more and more I have a sense of shadow life, me still doing something somewhere, me doing something in the "future"; it's already occuring.

Free will does not seem so free when we are stuck in our old skins.

March Madness

Rain non stop for 18 hours now. Bobby, my dog, looks at me like I am nuts to think about leaving the house. He is content for a quick release under the palm closest to the porch. The two younger cats sit smug and dry on the porch swishing tails, laughing, wondering at all the water outside. My oldest cat turns her back on the whole thing, smart thing she is, and returns to her private abode in my office...warm, dry, and dark. What else could you hope for on such a day ?
Outside the bromiliad cups are overflowing, the new roses maintain their blossoms despite the lashing rain, the cactus hope for the best and await the return of a hot hot Florida summer.

The Moon shines on my newly planted Coleus
Contrasting contrails streak wide across the sky
Winter still looms in the North
The jet stream ladles the cold down South
Any buds are gone again....maybe next week they'll try again.

Advice to Writers

As the words come you must capture them then...as you do.
Do not fret the time of day or night
What stands between you and the muse
The words fall into place with the force of the spirit that guides them.
Catch the faery dust.
It will never be the same twice.

Roses

I planted Roses today
Sun Flare for Yellow, my Mother's favorite
September Morn in honor of 9.11
Memories planted deep
Seeds in our soul
Life's resiliency
Love's remembrance
My offerings to the sky
And all before me.

The Dance of the Sea

So the sail lifts into the wind
Reaching up as to the arms of a lover
Finding its rhythm in tune with another
Two powerful forces as one
Creating a new space, moving through time
Slicing a trail towards the horizon
Sometimes charted, many times not
Together these two, keeping perfect balance as long as they can
The dance of the sea....
Still, we come as we go
Brief strikes of lightning
Touching down only an instant
Then dissipating into the clouds.

Thinking About God

I decided this past Autumn to seriously study religion and "god" to try and determine what I really believe. I've recently read a number of excellent books..."The Evolution of God", Speaking of Faith - Why Religion is Important and How to Talk About it" and, of course, " Letter to A Christian Nation", "The Death of Faith". The last two were not to my liking; nothing to do with what I believe since that is not clear right now, but because both author's are as strident in their atheism as the Christian fundamentalists are in their extremism. It doesn't matter what side you are on as much as how deeply you cower in your dog hole under a cover of strident belief. So the approach I require is a balanced discussion of ideas, a weighing of the history, facts and yes sometimes the unexplainable. I do know this much though...I've never grown to truly believe in or love anyone or anything without first knowing the spirit of the thing, the sense of someone's soul. And maybe, maybe all this current strife is exactly because a god does not want to be loved or adored blindly...maybe this god, like most of us, want to know we are fully loved with all our imperfections...that someone has looked deeply into us, seen us, and love us still. More to come as the search continues...

Between Now and Forever

It's you again..that angel ringing it's bell,
The look of love passing through
Between heaven and hell.

It's all the same you said
Take another look
Viewed from either side
It's the stop in between
Now and Forever.

Pack your bags
Put your hat on your head
You never know
When your train will pull up
Between Now and Forever.

Looking for Life

This morning I will inspect my plants and vegetation over the land for signs of life. Even some of the hardiest plants, like Crown of Thorns, have dropped their leaves down to the bare minimum prickly stalk. The Birds of Paradise are very doubtful about their commitment to the warmer weather. Life in the ground is moving slowly, cautiously peering up, sticking out a leaf here or there to see if it's safe. Curiously, the birds sound like they do up North in the Spring with their tentative chirps and singing. Two days ago I found a frog quite dead; frozen I think. Don't know where the lizards went to. And the bunnies, what a bad winter to be born. Now gazing out on the brown lawns and monochrome gardens, I can't help but think of the rubble of Haiti, destruction piled on top of an already devastated land. What life will grow there again ?

Thinking About Faith

I just finished Krista Tippett's book "Speaking of Faith - Why Religion Matters - and How To Talk About it " . So one of Krista's thesis's is that it is not so important what we believe as how we talk to each other about our beliefs. I love this woman's approach and I believe it is the way for the world's future religions if we are to achieve any type of spriritual unity or just mutual respect. We need to do more listening and less advertising of our own beliefs. Krista mentions Karen Armstrong's book, The History of God, and it's on my list. So far the books I've read of value on the topic of faith are The Evolution of God (Robert Wright), Speaking of Faith (Krista Tippett) and Holy The Firm (Annie Dilliard). None of them try to convince me of anything; they just present ideas and approaches to the subject.

Wandering On a Winter Night

The sky ripped open tonight spitting out ice. My plants lie huddled under frost blankets. Dig deep, hang on, the sun will warm you tomorrow; the last remaining small shoots of your legacy will rise again.

From another time I have come to know you. Sorry you can’t stay long. Lifestreaming.

Death is the dimension I do not see but, occasionally, I have glimpsed you on your way to some other place. If we could see the other place, we might not want to stay here but we must; it is our rite of passage, our duty and obligation for life given. We must not opt out before our time. Pay attention. You’ll know when.

The leaves take on iridescence before a storm; faery dust against the black sky. The wind shakes it out and tosses the bits across the pond; skimming light bits. Thoughts of mortality make us keen observers of our surroundings.